Ang taga-call center (yes, you..)

1. Disoriented

2. Bingi-bingihan

3. Malaki ang eyebags

4. Sigarilyo ang pares sa kape

5. Nag-e-english kahit kundoktor ang kausap

6. Palaging naka-shades kahit walang sun

7. Umaga pa, shot shot na

8. Malakas ang boses kahit katabi lang ang kausap

9. Ang tawag sa INTERNET ai “innernet”

10. And worst, kahit umaga, tanghali o hapon, naggu-GOODNIGHT pag matutulog na sila. At kahit gabi ang gising, GOOD MORNING pa rin ang greeting.

CSR: I was hoping you can take the survey with me. Would you have the time to do that, sir?

Customer: How long is this gonna take?

CSR: Mmm… Mga three minutes…

(HAHA)

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TSR: It’s C as in CAT.

Customer: What?

TSR: C as in CAT… Meow meow…

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Giving an order number to the customer: 

CSA: That’s N for Nancy, the number zero, then V for Victor, and then L… ahh… uhmm… L as in Liempo!

Customer: What’s liempow?

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CSA: Thank you for calling. Ths is Candy. How may I help you?

Customer: What did you say your name was? Mandy?

CSA: No, sir, it’s Candy…

Customer: Sorry, can’t hear ya… Didja say Mandy?

CSA: No, sir… Candy, sir… Candy… as in Storck!!!

Tech Support: Technical support, this is Carl. May I help you?

Customer: Hello, yes, it’s me.

Tech Support: Oh, it’s me too. (chuckle)

Customer: No, Esmie. E-S-M-I-E.

Tech Support: Oh, sorry.

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Tech Support: OK, in the bottom left-hand side of the screen, see where the ‘Start’ button is displayed?

Customer: How can you see my screen from there?

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Tech Support: OK, Bob, it’s time to press the ‘control’ and ‘escape’ keys at the same time.

Customer: Done.

Tech Support: Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the ‘program manager’.

Customer: I don’t have a ‘P’.

Tech Support: On your keyboard?

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech Support: ‘P’ on your keyboard?

Customer: I’m not going to do that!!!

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Customer: My hard drive is smoking! I think it’s on fire.

Tech: (Alarmed) Have you shut off the system?

Customer: No.

Tech: (More alarmed) Well, unplug the computer!

Customer: I don’t want to lose my data…

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Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.

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Tech: Just call us back if there’s still a problem. We’re open 24 hours a day.

Customer: Is that Eastern time?

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Tech: Could you left click on ‘Start’ and, now, do you find ‘My Computer’?

Customer: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

When things go wrong…

When everything you’ve tried didn’t work out…

When all else fails…

RELEASE THE CALL!